wonder y?

i had been wondering y things had turned out this way? we started out as classmates not so close to each other becos we belong to different clique..but we weren't enemies!
its only until last year...problems start to surface...i started complaining about her to everybody that know us....those that dunno her...will eventually side me and "sympathetise" with me!! while those whom know both of us tend not to listen to just one side of stories...
she has a close fren,j, whom i thought of her to be someone who will always be there when u need her...i am pretty grateful to know her..but the fact that j and her close fren make me feel very miserable each time i talk things about her to my other frens...but i really find it unbearable!!! i always feel like i had own a ren qing..so i always never try to be nasty to her..but directly..i am doing a great disservice to myself....i really hope to get this problem solved so that i dun feel like i am a bad person who like to badmouth people who showed concern to me!!!i learnt to see things in another perspective now....after complaining about her to A, i always felt that i had given a very bad impression of myself to him!!and i hate that to happen..........
hence since last nite after he abruptly go offline........i had decided to let myself cool down and not try to build a closer realtionship with her...cos i happen to just realise when u put in effort into something u not really enjoy is actually a torture....i decided not to put up with all the things she throw to me.........i will continue with my usual lifestyle and make improvements to it so that i am more efficient.......i shall not let her affect others' impression of me and also my temperament.
i do what i think its correct....without being bother about others but also won't harm myself or others..i must and will be able to lead a better U life from now on..........looking forward to meeting new people and not complaining old things to them...

troubled

this semester has been really tough on me....taking so many subjects and more CCA commitments and troubles concerning frens...
i know that i had actually change for the better...the once me who used to think alot of what people are thinking of me no longer exist..i learnt to be stronger and be more independent.
living in hostel has been a challenge..not only the discipline part of me but also trying my best to learn what it means by accomodating...but most of the time i let my quick temper got better of me...and thoughts of quitting hall do came into my mind..but i decided to stay on because i know its an experience and situation to make me a better person..i am confident of that...


recently i changed my dress sense...i started to wear skirts...tight and short skirt...i felt awkward at first but as time goes by...it seems to build up my confident...i must snap out of the inferior part of me...


i wanted to talk about him in this entry too...but i think when i am missing him to the optimum..then i will write something about it...cos its gonna be a super long one.....no misery from him compared to my past experiences,......think he handles the situation and me pretty well....haha....to be continued about him......

my first entry....

yeah..i finally can start writing about how i feel, what i am doing and do updates about my life.....
this will be my outlet on stuffs that happened to me......... for the time being........i shall end here.......don't worry...new entry to come....soon......