eventually..finally..at last..

after 3 years of struggling, turmoil, ups and downs.... i finally made up my mind to confess to sk!!
surprise surprise to those who have been reading my blog till this far to check on me......haha...
yes..i finally confess my love to sk...it took place on last friday..23 june 2006....
it was a nice japanese restaurant that he brought me to.......he never fail to surprise with new places..... he came to my house to pick me up....i am so lucky.......haha........then we went on to marina square..as suggested by him....we had a time with each other......we chatted cheerfully...and laughed heartily.....finally..before he asked for the bill........(actually i stopped him from doing that when he is waving for a waitress) i decided to confess everything in his face.......
well...indeed...i was rejected.....cos he said he wanted to remain single.....being nice to me seems more like a responsibility he has on me....i knew i boasted his ego........haha...but then again...i realised just how strong i am....i am not dwelling into it too far after friday...perhaps cos i have very good friends who were with me on friday night....they saw the sad face i had when i was at ktv...... they suggested to go for a walk....then they asked me to say things out so as to feel better........ all these 3 guys accompanied me when i am rejected by sk...haha..its a great thanks to them...
to those who might be worried about me now...after reading my blog... let me reassure u that i am ok......i am stronger than i think..i am coping well...tears never did come into my eyes... sorrow never did invade me in the middle of the night.......sadness never is my emotion....i am glad that this burden is off my heart and shoulder...i don't have to feel guilty of liking someone else the next time i think i fall in love..haha...i am a happy and free gal now........... yeah!! :)

i must get a grip of myself!

i am vexed...i hate that girl in my house now....but what can i do but to tolerate and once in a while blow up at her...she kept appearing in my dreams!!!!!!!! in my dreams...i am practically abusing her!!!! haiz........i am too weak mentally le..... i let her control how i feel and think...i shouldnt let it happen again!!!!!!
i must be strong and mature.........why must i be bother by a girl?? i must not...i must learn how to control and learn how to cope with my own mental health and emotional health and physical health...i shall not be bother anymore...no more.................i will be neutral!!!

let me plan a schedule here..

monday12.6.06:EID, Butler birthday..haha..
tuesday13.6.06:went out with CY
wednesday14.6.06: stay home mop floor,watch lu guang shen lin, sleep.
thursday15.6.06:ktv..i hope someone will ask me out for it leh..
friday16.6.06:slack again?? alamak...watch lu guang shen lin..
saturday17.6.06:lunch with Junyaw, moral home, expo city harvest service?4e7 gathering?? hmmm..see how la.
sunday18.6.06:morning-->go swami home wheel the old folks around for a fun fair, afternoon-> go Meiting house for her bday party..night--->go home sleep

monday19.6.06:lixia bday..alamak..haven buy present!!
tuesday20.6.06:nothing to do again?? meet Teh??
wednesday21.6.06:mop floor mah??
thursday22.6.06:nothing to do again?meet WY??
friday23.6.06:###***##***i want to meet up with SK to tell him how i feel about him for the past 3 years of my life..i can't simply let go of him just like that..####****
saturday24.6.06: fresh new chapter of my life!!

Met up with CY finally..

i finally met CY for tea le.. he is late!! but its ok la... at least i was still happy to see him...
we had Gelare for tea..i ordered chocolate waffle which is not half priced... and it made me feel so sick of chocolate thereafter..not worth the price at all!!
well..we didn't quite share much common topic...so we merely chatted..
but somehow...deep inside me...i don't want to lose in touch with him...and i told him that too....
so a better alternative will be for us to meet for dinner the next time round....like that..the time will be shorter and that we will not have too many quiet time....
however..still appreciate that he come out with me! :)

4june 21st birthday celebration

yeah....finally is my birthday!!!!
early in the morning...i ate mee sua....it was the most delicious food ever tasted on Earth!! i love it!! yummy... thanks mummy!!
then in the afternoon...i simply slacked..lie on the bed la..watch tv la... while reading all the well wishing smses from my friends.......there are so many of them..... i felt deeply appreciated!! thanks my friends!!
finally evening came....yeah yeah......dad and mum brought me to a thai restaurant to have dinner.... what a sumptuous meal i have........ just when i thought there is no other activity when going back home...i was wrong..haha...more surprises to come!!! my brothers bought me a cake!! a durian cake from angie's choice.........MY FAVOURITE!! i ate a super big piece of it!!! you have no idea just how nice and salivating it is!!!!
dad and mum bought me a necklace...no no...not a key pendant...but a star shape one...to be more chim it is pentacle shape...hahaha.... wonderful 21st birthday celebrations!! i am a 100% adult now!!! with pending maturity, independence, decisive and expressive!!!!!!!
there is something deep in my heart that i must do.............hope i carried it out successfully!! wish me luck ya.. :)

3june 21st birthday celebration

saturday has always been a day i am looking forward to....i called it the moral angels' day... its a day when we will gather to have fun with the old folks!!! particularly...it is the eve of my birthday....seriously...i wasn't anticipating... i carried out my normal routine at the home... fishing..passing beam bags.. and waiting to be pushed to sing for the old folks..haha...day ended with feeding an old folks and clearing all the utensils that is there...then after which go into the office to rest..... soon after..i heard someone singing birthday song and recall it is my birthday....haha..they off the lights and carried in a chocolate cake with lit candles..i am wonderfully touched!!!!! after that...i made my wish.... and distributed cakes to everyone..... i am so glad to have received blessings from the angels....they are always so full of surprise and acted it so well..... thereafter we went out for dinner at a seafood paradise...its located in the middle of a industrial area...i was pretty amazed by the food..for it is delicious....sumptuous meal that uncle song recommended....one thing new i found out about sk...he also never eat crabs....just like me.... i barely talked to him till the late night when we sms each other... i am glad he remember that he is supposed to give me a key pendant....the always acted bo chap him...do have some sweet part.... i am not sure my feelings for him still....i need to confirm and confirm and confirm and double check...i dun wan to get hurt unnecessarily...nor do i wan to put a strain in between us........he meant alot to me........ overall an enjoyable day to have.......with the angels!!!

2 june 21stbirthday celebration

early in the morning i received an sms from yukai..asking me whether i am interested to go kbox anot...without hestitating..i said yes....since it has been a long time since i been there and singing with these guys should be fun....heehee... i was late..not surprisely...haha... but they were nice enough to have waited for me patiently....
it is a long walk to the the suntec kbox....but it was worth it...cos we really got to sing our hearts out....singing so many oldies is the fun part........haha....and they are so cute.... we sang for abt 3 hours....then yinghong and jiaming came in.....so funny..............jiaming unexpectedly sang all the english rock song....and he has a voice that sounded abit like lu qi...........haha.....very cute... then yinghong was laughing throughout and phrasing me....he is smiley guy man..... and after which.......it was finally time for me to leave for dinner with cecilia,meiting,mingteck,sameul,qixiang... as expected the bill haven come when it is 7pm..so i took out my wallet..intending to pay to yukai first...but he said they are treating me this kbox cos its my birthday.,....i was so surprise....it was so the very kind of them...........i really is happy after the ktv session...and hope to meet them up for another round of k-ing...haha....
thereafter dinner at country manna....everything just taste so good..... this time i felt more appreciated....and i also thank them for taking the time out to have dinner with me........... i felt touched...i am particularly emotional due to the disappointment i suffered the day before when 6 of my buddies actually failed to turn up and also didnt even bother to send a sms of sorry or well wishing....
nevertheless....i had a good day on 2 june............ love my friends so much........ at least they helped me recover from a wound that could be fatal!!

1 june 21st birthday celebration

tonight..i am thankful that lixia asked me out... if not how disappointed will i get? the bus/fin people are the bunch of friends i really enjoy being with..but what happen tonight...all of them flew me plane..non of them can turn up due to work and due to project.........wat a "pleasant surprise"!
the present i got from lixia is great...a pinky bra strip...pinky nail polish...a pinky mint..a pinky fruity perfume..a grand earring....and its from esther...hehe... they are so cute and lovely... and i also had dinner at the "change appetite"...eaten something mixed westerm cum japanese...well..i enjoyed my dinner...
to those who flew me plane...i have nothing to say....i guess understanding is not applied here...